And… if you’re a guest and receive an invitation with “no gifts” written on it, you should honor this request.  “No gifts, please” means…no gifts.   Showing up with a gift, when asked not to, would embarrass the hosts and make other guests feel uncomfortable for respecting this wish. If you want to give a gift, it should be done privately.

Learning the basics of dining etiquette before your wedding will allow you to relax and enjoy your dinner. Following are answers to some of the most commonly asked questions about dining.

Your napkin goes in your lap, folded in half, as soon as you sit down. Some people will wait until the food is served, but the proper form is to be prepared.

The charger plates are purely decorative and are used to enhance the look of the table. Food should never be placed directly on them! Chargers are usually removed prior to serving of the first course. In instances when the appetizer or salad course is served on top of a charger it is removed together with those plates and prior to serving of the dinner course.

If you are asked to pass the salt or pepper pass both of them together even if the request is for only one of them. This prevents others at the table having to search for orphaned shakers during dinner.

Pass from the left to the right.

Set the passed item, whether it’s the salt and pepper, the breadbasket or the butter, directly on the table, don’t pass hand to hand.

Never intercept an item being passed. Grabbing a roll out of the breadbasket or taking a quick shake of salt when it is en route to someone else is a definite no-no.

Never flip over the coffee cup or glassware that you won’t be using. If a beverage is offered during the meal that you don’t want, simply hold your hand over the cup/glass and say, “No thank you.”

If you must leave the table during the meal place your napkin on your chair, never on the table, and push your chair under the table.

Never push your dishes away from you or stack them on top of one another for the waiter. Leave all plates and glasses where they are.

To signal that you have finished eating lay your utensils side by side diagonally on the plate.

At the end of the meal, place your napkin on the table to the left of your plate.  Bon Appétit!

RSVP comes from the French phrase “répondez s’il vous plaît”, meaning “please respond”.  If RSVP is written on an invitation it means that you must tell the host whether or not you plan to attend…no problem right?  But what is the proper protocol when that familiar ‘fill in the blank’ response card is not included?

Once upon a time, response cards didn’t exist.  When you received a written invitation, you would respond with a hand written note on your own stationery.  Because frustrated hosts were making numerous follow-up phone calls to inconsiderate invitees, the “reply card” was invented, much to the dismay of Miss Manners who calls them “horrid”.  

Few people today still abide by that time honored tradition of not including response cards, but in the event you do receive a formal invitation that does not include one here is the correct format to write your formal RSVP.

Always mirror your reply to match the original layout and formality of the invitation.  Pay attention as to whether the lines are centered (they often are) and if so just follow suit.  Handwrite the response and refer to yourself in the third person, such as:

Mr. And Mrs. John Franklin Smith
accept with pleasure
the kind invitation of
Mr. And Mrs. William Paul Bradley
for Saturday, the twelfth of April

If you are unable to attend, just replace “accept with pleasure” with “regret that they are unable to accept.”  Note that abbreviations are never used…everything is always spelled out in full, including the date. 

You should respond promptly as it is considered bad etiquette to leave your response to the last minute….but most important of all, have a fabulous time!

Offering a toast is a fabulous way to show gratitude, praise, or admiration to someone special.  That person may be the guest of honor at a celebration or a business function, a guest in your home, or your host at a dinner party. Below are some accepted forms of behavior when giving or receiving a toast.

You should always stand when offering a toast.  Standing will help you to get the attention of the group while quieting them down.  NEVER hit your glass with a utensil as this is inappropriate and a severe breach of etiquette.

While speaking hold your glass at chest level or sit it on the table.

Clearly define the end of the toast by raising your glass to eye level and, while making eye contact with the guest(s) of honor, ask your audience to raise their glasses.

Etiquette calls for all to participate in a toast.  Even nondrinkers should raise the glass to their lips and place it back down on the table without drinking.

Never offer a toast to the guest of honor until the host has had the opportunity to do so.  If it appears the host has no plan of offering a toast, you may ask the host’s permission to do so yourself.

Also, is not considered customary to applaud toasts.

So why is it called a toast?  The term comes from a Roman custom of dropping a piece of burnt bread into their cheap wine to reduce the acidity before drinking an offering to the emperor as was required by law.  Eventually the piece of burnt bread (toast) gave its name to the practice of making the offering.

Their wedding took place on the beach and the reception was held in the Sunset Terrace Room on the eighth floor of the resort.  The front wall is all glass providing the guests with spectacular views of the sunset.

Old fashioned photo booth was a huge hit with everyone…even the bride and groom!

The ceremony for today’s featured wedding took place on the front steps of the spectacular waterfront Cà d’Zan mansion.  

After the beautiful ceremony, which included music from a talented eight-time Emmy award winning flutist, guests wandered through the mansion to the sound of strolling musicians.

The cocktail reception took place on the beautiful variegated marble veranda overlooking the water.  Guests were then moved by trolleys to the Ringling Museum Courtyard for dinner and dancing to a great ten piece orchestra from Miami.

I wish Katie and Chris a lifetime of happiness…they were such a joy to work with!

Katie’s ’something blue’… her fabulous shoes!

In the Rose Garden

The perfect sendoff!

A beautifully designed wedding cake, with little details that make it your own, is a wonderful way to let your personality shine at your wedding reception.  The cake is often one of the focal points of the wedding and will one of the most photographed items at the reception!  Your guests will enjoy the little details that make the cake your own, so don’t be afraid of adding your personality to the design.  Also keep the ambiance of the venue in mind.  A five tier cake may work beautifully in a large space but totally overpower a smaller more casual setting.

The design of wedding cakes today has developed into a true art form.  As you begin your search for the perfect wedding cake, plan to see creations you never imagined: cakes so beautiful that it almost seems a shame to cut them.

Your best source of ideas is a professional baker who can advise you not only as to what looks pretty, but also as to what works in terms of structure and tastes that complement one another. Here, as always, reputation is important.  You want a cake that not only looks beautiful, but one that tastes good as well.  Before visiting with your baker it would be helpful to look through bridal magazines for pictures of cakes you that might fit your style.  Bring the pictures to the meeting to help the baker get a feel for what the design might entail.

Have lots of fun with the design…and…let them eat cake!